I understood at a younger age that children crave to be loved by their dad's more than having their dad's buy them stuff. I didn't live with my biological father and even though the child support checks came in the mail, I craved my dad's support and presence more than his money. At one point, my lack thereof became my wife and children’s lack thereof. No one should ever have to pay for the hidden brokenness rooted deep inside of me when Jesus took that to the cross (1 Peter 2:24).
There is nothing too broken in your life that God cannot fix.
Pain is what many of us have known most for so many years. But what you do with that pain matters most. And playing the blame or excuse game of why things were the way they were or why things are the way they are will never help to produce change. So one day I opened my bible and read "God is love (1 John 4:8)." That one verse helped me to understand that if I never get to know God on a deeper level I would never love my family appropriately. And if I never look at Jesus I could never get to God (John 14:6). So I found a church home and gave my life to God.
"Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” - Psalms 55:22
Surely, when your heart hurts, you may soon hurt others too, but God persists in showing me that He can use any pain we've faced in life to enlarge our hearts for other people, especially our children and wives. It took a while for me to change and adapt to being a loving father and husband but one day I opened my bible, started going to church and trusting the Lord, then I changed. I am not who I could be but I am definitely further away from who I use to be.
No dad is perfect and growing up takes time but that doesn't change how much every child needs a man in their life who will man up, grow up, and commit to being there for them no matter what (1 Corinthians 13:11). Most dad’s often walk away from their families and their absence causes great pain and many stumbling blocks for their children. I know that children are hard work but they already live in a sinful world full of sinful influences with a sinful nature bringing them down, so why add to it when we can build them up? Be there.
It is very difficult for any father to love their family with Christ-like love without having a growing relationship with God through Jesus Christ. The bible teaches us that the way a child is trained up when he/she is young is the way they will go when they are older (Proverbs 22:6). Dad's when we live each day a certain way, our wives, children, and other people will either want what we have or miss what we don't show. Let's be a greater example for our children and the entire world to follow by following Jesus examples. I believe God has called us all to do something great. I have been chosen to do many things from making music to being a dad. I choose to make sure I do every job appointed unto me from God well while I can in Jesus name!
So far I have come to hold on to this word of wisdom: Never be too busy trying to stay relevant with fans, to the position where you began to neglect taking time out to build up your faith and spend time with your family. I’ll end with this: God and then family; everything else will fall in line after that (Matthew 6:33, 1 Corinthians 14:33)
Call on the name of Jesus right where you are and open yourself up for the Holy Spirit to work in you and help you live a greater lifestyle for His glory, your child/children and/or your spouse, for sake of your very own soul. It's not too late to change. Surely, you cannot change the past but you can have a relationship with Jesus Christ today and that'll change your life. We are all imperfect people and that's why Jesus took our punishment. "We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are (Romans 3:22)." It is impossible to mess up so badly that God won't love you and help you to become better. I pray that the Lord helps you to receive forgiveness and guidance in Jesus name!